Something's Happening

Things have been going well between Sharon and I.  There was no awkwardness after her phone call.  We continued to hang around each other at work.  I would always visit her cube in the morning and we would usually go to lunch either just with each other or with a large group.  Even if we were in a large group we would always find a way to sit together and everyone would just fade into the backdrop.  We were pretty much inseparable.  The running joke around the office was if you found one of us, the other one would be there as well.  I found another way to spend more time with her.  Since Sharon was new to the company, she would have to park in the streets a few blocks from our building.  It was November so it would be dark by the time it was time for her to leave.  I would always come by when I knew she would be leaving and offer her a ride to her car.  So as to not make her feel bad, I would pretend that I was leaving as well and I could drop her on my way out.  She never knew that I would actually come back to work to finish up but I didn't want her to walk alone in the dark.  I guess some lessons your parents taught you actually stick.

The routine was that I would pretend to pack up and happen to pass by her cube, as she was getting ready to leave.  I had her schedule down to the exact minute.  Sometimes I got the feeling that she was waiting for me and that she would be conveniently waiting at the exact time.  I would stop by and ask her if she wanted a ride and the answer was always yes.  We would walk to the elevators, which would take us to the parking levels.  I would always open her door for her.  We would drive to her car and I would park next to it.  We would sit and talk for a while.  Time seemed to stand still when we were together.  We would talk and before you knew it, a few hours had gone by.

This went on for a while and it was a week before Thanksgiving.  I felt like something was going on between us.  It was kind of unspoken, but I believe that she felt it as well.  It was in the way we looked at each other when our eyes would meet, or the way we spoke to each other.  Whenever it was time to say goodbye, we would linger and it seemed that neither of us wanted to go.  It was Friday and we were heading to the elevator for the ride to her car.  My hand accidentally brushed against hers and I made some comment on what it would be like to hold her hand.  She grabbed my hand, squeezed it and said that I didn't have to wonder anymore.  It was quiet as we drove to her car.  I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I didn't know why this was happening.  We parked beside her car and began to talk.  She told me she couldn't stay too long as she had a date.  Somehow, we leaned close to each other and our eyes met.   My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.  We began to kiss.  All of those emotions from waiting just seemed to explode.  Somehow a few minutes turned into a few hours.   We didn't notice how much time had past, but when we did, she had to leave for her date.  I was thinking that this was going to get complicated.

Reflection

I was home one evening and recalling the events of the day.  My mind quickly turned to Sharon and how I had invited her to do something outside of work.  My not-so indirect way of asking her out.  I recalled giving her my number and leaving her with the choice on what to do.  She was on my mind quite a bit these days.  There was something very different about her.  I found myself thinking about her quite often whenever she wasn't around.  Like they say, out of sight but not out of mind.  Not much about her would escape me,  from what she was wearing, how she wore her hair, her soft voice, and her eyes.  I still felt as though she was very familiar, that I had known her before.  There was something about the way we would talk to each other, very at ease as if we had known each other for years.  I was quite certain that I had never, ever felt this way before.  The more I got to know her the more beautiful she became. 

I was listening to some music when the phone rang.  It was Sharon.  She wanted to talk.  She finally told me about her relationship that she was kind of engaged.  She told me that his name was Paul and it was someone that I knew.  He worked for another division in our company and I had actually been to his office to train him.  I realized that I had seen her picture on his desk.  Sharon told me that she was dating another guy named Dan for awhile but he had no ambition and no direction.  Their relationship had just run its course.  So when she met Paul she was impressed that he knew what he wanted and how to get there.  There was no engagement ring or no romantic proposal it was just a conversation that they had.  She told me that her family didn't really approve of her choice and that they didn't really care for the guy.  And now she was beginning to question it herself.  I told her that we could just hang out and there was really no pressure from my side.  As we said good night a few hours later, I was struck by that despite all that she told me, Sharon never ever mentioned the word love or expressed any emotion.

I thought that it was funny how things work out.  A few years back, I was almost in the exact same place that I was in now.  I met someone at a company party.  She was strikingly similar to Sharon, tall, Asian, soft spoken, and beautiful eyes.  We had started hanging out at work and when I asked her out, she told me she had a boyfriend and I apologized.  She called me later that day apologizing for what she said.  She, too, was conflicted.  We ended up dating and got pretty serious but it ended as she went back to her boyfriend.  Now here I am two years later and it's deja vu.  This will be interesting.

Getting Closer

During Sharon's first month working at our corporate headquarters, we started to hang out with each other.   I was always the early riser and would get in around 7:00 or 7:30 am every morning.  Sharon was not a morning person and would usually stroll in around 9:00 am.  Time seemed to stand still for me as 9:00 am couldn't come around fast enough.  I couldn't wait to see her, how she would wear her hair and what she would be wearing.  But most of all, I couldn't wait to hear her voice.  Since I knew what time she would arrive, I would always stop by a few minutes later to say hello and make small conversation.  Some times she would be running late and I would remark, "Oh, you just got here."  She was trying to play down her late arrival and I probably didn't help matters.  But I would always stop by and chat.  I even added to her initial training.  Since we were in Burbank, a group of us would go to lunch together on a regular basis.  We would always include her.  Sharon and I would always find ourselves sitting next to each other chatting.  I remember asking her if she liked to ice skate as that was one of the things that I enjoyed doing, the cold and the gliding feeling of the ice beneath my feet.  I told her that we should go sometime.  Throughout that time, I would often think about her in the evenings.  I would wonder what she was doing and whether she was thinking about me as well.  Sharon was never far from my thoughts.  I remember listening to songs on the radio that would immediately make me think of her.  Something did puzzle me.  Patrick had said that she was engaged, but I didn't see a ring on her finger or any pictures on her desk.  Also, during our many conversations there was never any talk of a significant other.  I did give her openings to say something, still there was no mention of it.

Sometime later, after really doing some soul-searching, I decided to do something about how I felt.  We had just gotten back from lunch and I walked her to her cube.  My heart was racing as I asked her if she wanted to do something outside of work.  I kept thinking to myself that it seemed like an eternity for her response.  Sharon told me that she had some things to figure out and that she wasn't sure about her relationship.  So I took a big breath and grabbed a piece of paper and pen.  I started writing and gave her the paper.  I told her, "Here is my phone number.  If you figure it out and you are free give me a call.   If not, no worries."  As I walked away I couldn't help but feel like I had been in this situation before.  Hopefully, this one would be different.