Finally...

Our company was having a Christmas party in early December.  It was to be a pretty big event, everyone would be dressed up.  Guys would be in their suits and the ladies would be in their cocktail dresses.  Everyone was talking about it.   Unfortunately for me, Sharon was going to attend with her current relationship,  as these plans were made before she and I got together.  It was two weeks before his finals and she didn't want to make any waves.  Since it would be a late night, the company decided to reserve hotel rooms for people that wanted to stay over.  Her other relationship had asked Sharon to stay over.  She had told me that he wanted to do that.  I told Sharon that if she did, we were over.  She said she wouldn't do that.  I decided to go and would take this woman that I coached with named Merrill. We were friends and she had met Sharon and knew about our relationship.  Some of my other friends around the soccer circle believed that she was interested in me but I never got that vibe.  But after I met Sharon it was pretty hard to notice anything or anyone else.  Merrill had told some of our players that we were going to a party together and they were pretty excited.  I guess they still hadn't figured out who Sharon was.  It was a pretty strange evening all the way around.  All of my friends at work were probably wondering why Merrill and I kept telling them that we were just friends.  As we were seated at our table, I caught a glimpse of Sharon coming in.  She was beautiful as always.  I couldn't take my eyes of off her.  Merrill ran into Sharon in the ladies room and told her that I was pining away for her.  Even though Sharon and I had agreed to depart from the party early and meet up afterwards, it seemed like the longest night of my life.  I left the party after a couple of hours and dropped Merrill off at her apartment.  I gave her the prize that I had one at the party.  We chatted for a little while and I quickly left.  Sharon called me a little later and we got into an argument because she ended up staying longer than we agreed upon.  I was upset as I hung up the phone.  About 30 minutes later she showed up at my apartment.  We made up and stayed up all night talking (well there was a lot of kissing and hugging involved).  That following morning we went to Denny's and had breakfast together.  She left my place around 9:00 am to head home as I had several games to coach that day.

The following week, her other relationship completed his final exams and she broke up with him over the phone.  So finally, we were free to be with each other openly.  She drove to my apartment to tell me and we were so happy.  That night was the first time we both said those three words that changes everything.  That night we finally admitted what we were feeling for so long, that we were in love.

Near Miss

Things have been going well between Sharon and me.  We were inseparable at work and I would always drop her off to her car in the evenings and we would always linger.  There were a couple of unresolved things that were hanging over our heads.  One was her relationship and the other was an obligation that I took on for the time being.  We decided to go on a date during the week.  I decided that it was time for her to meet the little girl that I was occasionally caring for.  I am not sure if I really thought this all the way through.  We went to a place in Westwood and we had a nice dinner and thought that we had a good time.  After dinner, the three of us went to my apartment and Sharon asked to speak to me alone.  She started to cry as she began talking.  She told me that she had very deep feelings for me but she couldn't be with anyone with baggage.  Sharon said that she would bow out as to not upset the little girl.  That even though it was hard for her she was doing it for the little girl.  She didn't want to be with someone that had ties.  I was stunned at what she was saying.  Slowly, I started to find the words to say.  I asked her one question, "Do you have feelings for me?"  She said, yes.  I told her that I have very strong and deep feelings for her and that I didn't want to lose her.  I told Sharon that I would choose her over anything and that it wasn't a choice.   She seemed relieved at what I had told her.  She held me close and we shared a long, passionate kiss.

But there was one more thing that was hovering over us and that was her relationship.  She told me that she wanted to end it but couldn't do it yet.  He was getting ready to take his final exams for his MBA program and didn't want to affect that.  So we would continue to see each other.  She said that they rarely saw each other.  The next morning I had flowers delivered to her desk.  I had orchids sent to her because I thought roses did not suit seem to suit her.  She was so happy to receive them and she came by to thank me.  We went to lunch together that day and when we came back she had a surprise visitor.  It was her relationship and he had come to visit her.  He asked about the flowers but she made some excuse about her brother.  He had told her that it looked like his promotion was going to come through along with some back pay.  He wanted to use the backpay to buy an engagement ring.  I told her that she needed to tell him soon before he went to buy a ring.  She told me not to worry that he was too cheap to buy the ring and wouldn't.  So we continued to see each other quietly as she waited for his finals to be done.

Getting Complicated

It was the Saturday after our first kiss.  As usual, my day consisted of practically living at the soccer fields coaching my three teams.  But that day, I was anxious and restless.  I couldn't get Sharon out of my mind.  I kept replaying our kiss and the time that we spent together.  That evening, I was dropping off the little girl that I was helping care for.  She was from a broken home and her older sister was on one of my teams that I coached.  She was always hanging around our games and practices.  Somehow she was attached to me.  I would take her and do things with her like ice skating, movies, train her in soccer.  She is from a pretty dysfunctional family. Her mom and older brother are in and out of rehab.  I think that I provided an escape for her.  It was pretty crazy when I dropped her off.  A lot arguing and screaming.  I was pretty upset leaving her at her house.  My mind drifted to Sharon.  I stopped by a pay phone to call her.  It was getting late but I had to hear her voice. The phone rang and she answered.  I told her that something upset me and just needed to hear her voice.  Bu I also wanted to see her.  Sharon said she did as well and proceeded to give me directions to her house in Reseda.  The really strange part was that I didn't write it down.  God must have really wanted me to see her that day because I was able to get there easily and I am horrible with directions.  Maybe the car drove itself.  I got to her house and she was waiting outside.  She waited outside so as not to have to explain who I was to her brother.  She got in my car and we went for a drive.  It was the first time that we saw each other since we kissed and I really wasn't sure what to expect.  Sharon gave me and hug and we kissed.  We spent the night together and we just stayed up being with each other.   If we were tired it really didn't show.  I dropped her off that morning.  Later that day, I called her and we talked for hours.

The week following was Thanksgiving.  I was even more excited to go to work knowing that I would see her.  These days when I would take her to her car, we would stay quite a bit longer as neither of us wanted to say goodbye.  It was customary on the day before Thanksgiving that our office would close early and allow us to go home.  That day, Sharon and I left early but we stayed in the car just being with each other.  We spent quite a few hours just talking, without paying attention to the time.  On Thanksgiving day, Sharon spent the day with her family and I was over at one of my friend's home for the day.  She was never far from my thoughts and I was wondering if she was thinking of me as well.  The days following Thanksgiving were always a busy time for me.  It was a big soccer tournament weekend and as usual, I had two teams entered in a tournament in Pasadena.  It was possibly eight games in two days.  I had told Sharon what I was doing that weekend and didn't really expect to see much of her.  But to my surprise, she showed up at my apartment before I was to leave for the first game.    She came with me to the games and braved the cold and the wind.  We had lunch in between games with some of the parents who have been with me for a few years.  My teams didn't advance to the championship games that weekend.  But for some reason, I really didn't mind.  Sharon stayed with me at my apartment that entire weekend.  We spent it together and we never left each other's side.  I think we both never wanted that weekend to end.

Something's Happening

Things have been going well between Sharon and I.  There was no awkwardness after her phone call.  We continued to hang around each other at work.  I would always visit her cube in the morning and we would usually go to lunch either just with each other or with a large group.  Even if we were in a large group we would always find a way to sit together and everyone would just fade into the backdrop.  We were pretty much inseparable.  The running joke around the office was if you found one of us, the other one would be there as well.  I found another way to spend more time with her.  Since Sharon was new to the company, she would have to park in the streets a few blocks from our building.  It was November so it would be dark by the time it was time for her to leave.  I would always come by when I knew she would be leaving and offer her a ride to her car.  So as to not make her feel bad, I would pretend that I was leaving as well and I could drop her on my way out.  She never knew that I would actually come back to work to finish up but I didn't want her to walk alone in the dark.  I guess some lessons your parents taught you actually stick.

The routine was that I would pretend to pack up and happen to pass by her cube, as she was getting ready to leave.  I had her schedule down to the exact minute.  Sometimes I got the feeling that she was waiting for me and that she would be conveniently waiting at the exact time.  I would stop by and ask her if she wanted a ride and the answer was always yes.  We would walk to the elevators, which would take us to the parking levels.  I would always open her door for her.  We would drive to her car and I would park next to it.  We would sit and talk for a while.  Time seemed to stand still when we were together.  We would talk and before you knew it, a few hours had gone by.

This went on for a while and it was a week before Thanksgiving.  I felt like something was going on between us.  It was kind of unspoken, but I believe that she felt it as well.  It was in the way we looked at each other when our eyes would meet, or the way we spoke to each other.  Whenever it was time to say goodbye, we would linger and it seemed that neither of us wanted to go.  It was Friday and we were heading to the elevator for the ride to her car.  My hand accidentally brushed against hers and I made some comment on what it would be like to hold her hand.  She grabbed my hand, squeezed it and said that I didn't have to wonder anymore.  It was quiet as we drove to her car.  I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I didn't know why this was happening.  We parked beside her car and began to talk.  She told me she couldn't stay too long as she had a date.  Somehow, we leaned close to each other and our eyes met.   My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.  We began to kiss.  All of those emotions from waiting just seemed to explode.  Somehow a few minutes turned into a few hours.   We didn't notice how much time had past, but when we did, she had to leave for her date.  I was thinking that this was going to get complicated.

Reflection

I was home one evening and recalling the events of the day.  My mind quickly turned to Sharon and how I had invited her to do something outside of work.  My not-so indirect way of asking her out.  I recalled giving her my number and leaving her with the choice on what to do.  She was on my mind quite a bit these days.  There was something very different about her.  I found myself thinking about her quite often whenever she wasn't around.  Like they say, out of sight but not out of mind.  Not much about her would escape me,  from what she was wearing, how she wore her hair, her soft voice, and her eyes.  I still felt as though she was very familiar, that I had known her before.  There was something about the way we would talk to each other, very at ease as if we had known each other for years.  I was quite certain that I had never, ever felt this way before.  The more I got to know her the more beautiful she became. 

I was listening to some music when the phone rang.  It was Sharon.  She wanted to talk.  She finally told me about her relationship that she was kind of engaged.  She told me that his name was Paul and it was someone that I knew.  He worked for another division in our company and I had actually been to his office to train him.  I realized that I had seen her picture on his desk.  Sharon told me that she was dating another guy named Dan for awhile but he had no ambition and no direction.  Their relationship had just run its course.  So when she met Paul she was impressed that he knew what he wanted and how to get there.  There was no engagement ring or no romantic proposal it was just a conversation that they had.  She told me that her family didn't really approve of her choice and that they didn't really care for the guy.  And now she was beginning to question it herself.  I told her that we could just hang out and there was really no pressure from my side.  As we said good night a few hours later, I was struck by that despite all that she told me, Sharon never ever mentioned the word love or expressed any emotion.

I thought that it was funny how things work out.  A few years back, I was almost in the exact same place that I was in now.  I met someone at a company party.  She was strikingly similar to Sharon, tall, Asian, soft spoken, and beautiful eyes.  We had started hanging out at work and when I asked her out, she told me she had a boyfriend and I apologized.  She called me later that day apologizing for what she said.  She, too, was conflicted.  We ended up dating and got pretty serious but it ended as she went back to her boyfriend.  Now here I am two years later and it's deja vu.  This will be interesting.

Getting Closer

During Sharon's first month working at our corporate headquarters, we started to hang out with each other.   I was always the early riser and would get in around 7:00 or 7:30 am every morning.  Sharon was not a morning person and would usually stroll in around 9:00 am.  Time seemed to stand still for me as 9:00 am couldn't come around fast enough.  I couldn't wait to see her, how she would wear her hair and what she would be wearing.  But most of all, I couldn't wait to hear her voice.  Since I knew what time she would arrive, I would always stop by a few minutes later to say hello and make small conversation.  Some times she would be running late and I would remark, "Oh, you just got here."  She was trying to play down her late arrival and I probably didn't help matters.  But I would always stop by and chat.  I even added to her initial training.  Since we were in Burbank, a group of us would go to lunch together on a regular basis.  We would always include her.  Sharon and I would always find ourselves sitting next to each other chatting.  I remember asking her if she liked to ice skate as that was one of the things that I enjoyed doing, the cold and the gliding feeling of the ice beneath my feet.  I told her that we should go sometime.  Throughout that time, I would often think about her in the evenings.  I would wonder what she was doing and whether she was thinking about me as well.  Sharon was never far from my thoughts.  I remember listening to songs on the radio that would immediately make me think of her.  Something did puzzle me.  Patrick had said that she was engaged, but I didn't see a ring on her finger or any pictures on her desk.  Also, during our many conversations there was never any talk of a significant other.  I did give her openings to say something, still there was no mention of it.

Sometime later, after really doing some soul-searching, I decided to do something about how I felt.  We had just gotten back from lunch and I walked her to her cube.  My heart was racing as I asked her if she wanted to do something outside of work.  I kept thinking to myself that it seemed like an eternity for her response.  Sharon told me that she had some things to figure out and that she wasn't sure about her relationship.  So I took a big breath and grabbed a piece of paper and pen.  I started writing and gave her the paper.  I told her, "Here is my phone number.  If you figure it out and you are free give me a call.   If not, no worries."  As I walked away I couldn't help but feel like I had been in this situation before.  Hopefully, this one would be different.

First Impressions

My boss had given me a very ambitious deadline and I was trying to figure out how I was going to meet it. Patrick came over and introduced me to his replacement.  Wouldn't you know it, it was Sharon?  I have a very bad habit of being too focused on my tasks.  I was preoccupied as we were introduced.  But to this day I still remember that smile that seemed to light up the entire room.   Her smile could melt a glacier.  I was short and to the point and knowing myself, I probably said something that I thought was funny.   Patrick told me that she would be coming to me for her training.  I was responsible for the financial systems and I also doubled as the trainer.  I told Patrick that he could also train her, but that I would make time.  So I scheduled it with Sharon.

So I guess I really made an impression on her.  Some time after they left, Patrick came by to see me.  He said, "Great going, Sherlock.  She wants me to train her as she thinks you are too arrogant and over confident.  But I told her that you are an excellent trainer."

Later in that day, Sharon came by for her training.  We started to talk and she noticed my pictures on my desk.  There were three, my family, my current soccer team that I coached and the little girl that I took care of.  She told me that she was Hawaiian, Japanese, Chinese, and English.  Sharon told me about her large Hawaiian family, about her Mom and Dad, her brothers, and cousins.  It was supposed to be a two-hour training session, but it lasted until it was time to leave.  Time just flew by and I was surprised at the ease at which we both were.  I was impressed by how she spoke of her goals and that she knew what she wanted. She told me she wanted to buy a house or condo in Westlake Village.  But I was I really touched by how she spoke about her family and how important they were to her.  Sharon was beautiful, but what struck me the most, was the more I got to know about her, the more beautiful she became.  As she said goodbye, I couldn't help think that in all that time, never was there once a mention of a boyfriend.  That night I couldn't help but think about her and wondered if was thinking about me as well.  I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't shake.

Our First Glance

It was late October and there was a buzz around the office today.  Everyone was talking about the young woman in the lobby, especially the guys.  She was supposed to be transferring in from one of our other offices.  I happened to walk by our CIO's office and there she was.  I smiled at her and she smiled back.  She had an incredible smile, it would light up an entire room.  There was something very different about her.  She was wearing a flower pattern outfit,  I believe the correct term was a skort (part shorts/part skirt).  She was tall, mostly legs with shoulder-length brown hair.  By looking at her, she could have passed for a multitude of nationalities.  She looked exotic, like she was a mixture of Asian and Caucasian.   One of my friends asked me, "Isn't she beautiful?".  I quickly remarked that I thought she was ok, not wanting to reveal what I really thought.  He shot me a quizzical look to let me know he didn't believe me.  As I walked away, I couldn't help feel that there was something familiar about her and I was certain that I had seen her before.

Later that day, I saw her with Patrick, who was the assistant to the CIO and was transferring to another area. I asked about her.  He told me that her name is Sharon and she would be taking his place.  He also added that she was taken and was engaged to someone high up.  I kept thinking about her and how beautiful she was and thought to myself, it’s too bad she is taken.