The FIrst Time ...

We were getting ready to make the trip to Las Vegas.  My brother, Gene and his then-girlfriend, Rose decided to join us.  We got out there and visited all of the usual places.  Sharon and I stopped to get our Marriage License.  I remember being in line waiting with her and saw all of the different people waiting to get their licenses as well.  We seemed so out of place.  There were couples dressed as Elvis and other celebrities as well as some really outrageous costumes.  Sharon and I were wondering what we were doing there. I remember we both looked at each other and just started to laugh.  But we reminded ourselves of what our reason for being there was.  So despite the circus, we forged ahead.  Afterwards, we scheduled our appointment at the Wedding Chapel and then we visited the various shops with my brother, Gene and his girlfriend.  That evening we went to Jaime's Family party.  Sharon really enjoyed parties and asian food.  We had a nice evening together.

That evening, I was contemplating the next day.  It was a big step for us and it seemed strange that we wouldn't have everyone there with us.  But I knew that I have waited all my life for her and there was no one else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  That day was pretty hectic.  We were getting ready and I could tell that Sharon was a bit tense.   I was getting ready and she wanted me to get her bouquet at that precise moment.  I told her that I would do it in a little while and she told me to get it right away or she wouldn't go through with it.  So I bit my tongue and went to pick it up.  When I got back she apologized and kissed me.  We finished getting ready and finally arrived at the Chapel.  We took some pictures outside with my brother, Gene.  We were both there at the chapel with my brother and his girlfriend as our witnesses.  I remember standing there thinking that I had to be dreaming, that this too good to be true.   We were gazing at each other during the ceremony.  I couldn't take my eyes off of her.  I guess we were so oblivious to the person performing the ceremony.  Neither of us  looked at him until he pronounced us husband and wife.  I don't think either of us would ever forget what he did.  He looked at both of us and said, "Cesar. Sharon".  Then he puckered his lips and made the kissing sound.  The weird thing was that neither of us had noticed until then how old he was and that he reminded us of the guy from "Haunted Mansion".  But nothing could have ever ruined that day for either of us.  We were now husband and wife.  I was with the one person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

Moving it up

Our wedding planning continued and Sharon was meticulously knocking off each item on our list.  I still couldn't shake the feeling that I had after the big earthquake.  Sharon's friend Jamie invited us to go to Las Vegas in mid-February.  Her family was having a birthday celebration for her grandfather.   Sharon and I decided that we would go.  In my mind I was contemplating asking her to get married during our trip there.  I remember we were having dinner and I was sitting across from her.  I remember gazing at her and thinking how lucky I was to be the one she chose to be with.  There was something definitely different about how we were together.  I started to tell her that I felt like we should get married before our August date.   She asked me what was the reason that I wanted to get married right away as we already had our date set and our arrangements completed.  I told her how I was feeling and how I felt that I didn't want to continue to live this way.  She didn't quite understand.  I told her that I felt like I had known her my whole life and there wasn't anything that we didn't know about each other.  She asked me about our wedding date in August.  I told her that we should still go through with it, but there would probably be less stress and less pressure as we would already be married.  She asked me if I was afraid she would change her mind if we waited for August.  I told her that I know that we are meant to be together and that wasn't the reason.  Sharon told me that she was in love with me and that nothing could change that.  She said that she wanted to get married as well, but didn't want to tell her family so as to not ruin the August date and she thought they would be upset with her for not including them.  So Sharon said yes, again.

I guess she was a little nervous about it all as we both talked about marriage and that for us it was forever.  We both agreed that it was permanent and a commitment that was not to be taken lightly.  I didn't know until some time later, but she went to see an old boyfriend.  It was her boyfriend before the one she had when we got together.  That was her serious one and she went to get closure.  I guess there was no definitive ending when things had cooled.  He was friend's with one of Sharon's close friends and he was upset that she went to see him.  Sharon's friend told him that she just wanted closure.  With that out of the way,  Sharon began to plan for our Las Vegas wedding.  She began researching possible sites.

Planning & The Big One

Our engagement was official and we were proceeding with our plans.  Sharon was really excited to start planning our wedding.   Bridal magazines were in no short supply in our apartment as she searched for ideas.  She loved all of those shows that would show different weddings at different places.  She would also consult with her brother Jeff for ideas as he had experience with his clients and what they have done or seen.  We both agreed that we wanted a garden wedding.  Some of the other things were pretty much easily decided.  We were going to pay for the wedding ourselves and so we had an idea of what our limit was.  Sharon had decided to have her friend Jaime as her matron of honor and her cousin Loke as her bridesmaid.  She wanted it be about family so her young nieces and nephews would be part of the wedding party.  We began looking at different venues and seeing what they had to offer.  We were unsure what area to have it in due to the logistics of where everyone lived.  We decided that we would focus on finding the right place.  Some weekends and week nights were spent looking at different halls, hotels, etc. and sampling menus.  We finally found a place that mostly did weddings and parties.  It had an outdoor garden where the ceremony could be held and they had two ballrooms.  So we chose the Calabasas Inn to be the site of our new beginning.  We reserved it and began going through our list.  Sharon started a binder organizing everything we would have to do and she kept all of the brochures, receipts, etc.   She was pretty organized and methodical in the way she went about going through the list of things that we had to do.  We  selected our invitations and had already sent the design away to the printers.

Everything was going well but life has a funny way of sending you a curve. It was early in the morning, I was awakened by a rumbling sound.  The next thing I knew there was a violent shaking and Sharon was screaming that it was an earthquake.  Although it was stronger than any earthquake I had ever felt.   We were being tossed around and things were falling all around us.  I covered  Sharon and we just hung on to each other.  After what seemed like an eternity, the shaking stopped.  We got up and checked on my brother Gene, who was hiding under his desk.  We surveyed the damage around our apartment.  Afterwards, we found out how big of an earthquake it was and the damage it made.  We got ready and went to check on her brothers' families.   Everyone was ok and one of our niece's slept through the entire quake.   It was strange in the midst of what happened there was something about how we went through it together.  It affected me in a different way.  I was thinking about how if something had happened and I were to face God and there we were living together.  It really lingered on my mind.

The Reaction

Sharon and I were now officially engaged.  She called her family and broke the news.  I think her brothers were happy for her.  I am not sure how her mom and dad took the news.  They were probably still reeling from the sequence of events that had transpired.  She told her close friends and cousins.  Some of her friends were surprised at how quickly our relationship was moving.   Maybe it was more that they were "alarmed" rather than surprised.  Some were really questioning why I wanted to marry her so fast.  I guess they didn't see what I was looking at.  First, there was the age difference and then I was the "new" office romance.  The immigration issue was mentioned, although they didn't know that I was already a U.S. Citizen.  I guess we just took it for granted that most people would be happy for her and us.  She did tell some of her friends that she met "this great guy".  Sharon made it clear that I was "the guy" for her.  I believe that it happened so fast because we both knew that we were meant to be together.  Everything that happened before led us to that moment where we knew we were in love and it wasn't just the newness of it all, but something deeper.

The first day back at the office, we weren't really advertising our engagement.  We weren't hiding it, but we weren't broadcasting it either.  We never really told people that we were dating.  We were both low key people.  Sharon was the assistant to our Chief Information Officer and there was a big management meeting.  I guess some of the female managers noticed her ring finger as she was taking notes.  I guess they noticed the diamond that was now on her finger.  Apparently there was quite a bit of commotion during the meeting.  A lot of excitement.  They were all congratulating her.  Sharon told me that they seemed geniunely happy for her and told her that I was a great guy,  I wasn't at the meeting but in my area that was in the opposite side of the building.  I never heard all of the commotion during it all as it was behind closed doors.  After the meeting several of the female managers and directors headed straight to my work area. They were all screaming and congratulating me.  They commented that I waited for the right person to come along and then moved very quickly when I found her.  They told me that they had no idea that we were dating.  Our company had a lot of employees that were single and there was some inter-office romances and dating going on.  I had managed to stay out of it until Sharon came along.  Not everyone was happy for me.  There were some guys that were giving me cold stares after the news came out.  So I am sure some of them were upset with me, but I knew that I met the one that I had been waiting all my life for.  I doubt that any of them wanted a long term commitment.  People at the office seemed to be observing us even more, just watching.  For us, nothing really changed.  We both knew that we were right for each other.  We felt it and we both knew that this was different, it was special.  Being together was like breathing, something we had to have, but something that was natural.

Popping the Question

Sharon and I were now living together.  We had already discussed marriage.  We were pretty serious, pretty quickly.  I remember asking her if she would consider marrying me.  She didn't hesitate at all.  She started to refer to me as her fiancee.  We spoke about spending the rest of our lives with each other.  Neither one of us was afraid of the "M" word.  It just felt right.  I remember thinking that whenever we weren't together that there was something really missing.  It was so amazing when she would walk into a room, our eyes would always meet and everyone would just fade into the back.  I guess you might say that I fell hard and fast.  Moving in together was an adjustment.  I know that her Mom was pretty freaked out about the whole thing.  I imagine Sharon's conversation with her mom went someting like this.  I broke up with my previous boyfriend/fiancee.  I got together with Cesar and have moved in with him and we are planning to get married.  Her mom was beside herself about it and she talked to Sharon's brothers pleading with them to talk to her.  Luckily, her brothers actually liked me.  Her brother Jeff had told her that I was a nice guy and that his kids really took to me.  He told her that Sharon had other boyfriends before.  But her mom's big thing was that Sharon had moved out of the Reseda house and moved in with me.  One day she called our apartment and was talking to Sharon.  Sharon proceeded to hand me the phone to talk to her.  It was pretty awkward.   I don't really remember what I said but I know there was quite a bit of silence.  I guess Sharon wanted her to meet me and feel better about the man she chose.  So that was my first encounter with Sharon's mom.
Over the course of several days, I took her shopping which was one of her favorite activities.  I managed to pick places close to a few jewelry stores.  We popped in and were looking at engagement rings.  One of my former player's father owned a pretty big jewelry store and I took her there.  At each place, Sharon was studying each and every pattern and diamond shape.  She tried different ones on.  I finally got her to tell me what she really liked.  Although I didn't need her to, when she slipped one of them on, you could tell by her smile.  It was even more radiant and beautiful than it normally was.  What she liked was elegant and yet very understated and tasteful.  It was beautiful.  She didn't know that I had already been there and worked out a signal with the sales person.  The signal was for the sales person to record what she wanted.
Later that week, I went back to the jewelry store, picked out the design and the diamond.  They already had her size.  It would be ready within a week.  I had made up my mind that I would ask her on New Year's eve.  I made reservations at Yamashiro restaurant in Hollywood.  It was a Japanese restaurant with a stunning view of the city and a garden inside.
A few days before Christmas Eve, I went and picked up her ring.  I was pretty excited and found a place to hide it that she would never look.  I remember the anticipation and the wait seemed like forever.
On Christmas Eve, she went out with some friends during the day.  When she got home, we got ready and went to Yamashiro's.  Our reservation was for 9 pm.  We had a table with a view of the city on the outside and a view of the garden inside.  We finished ordering and I was gazing at her sitting across from me.  I pointed at something so that it would force her to turn to see what I was talking about.  When she turned around, there was an open box with the ring inside it.  Her smile was even brighter than the diamond when she saw the ring.  I held her hand and told her that I was in love with her and I had never felt anything close to that ever.  I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted to spend each day making her happy.  "I know that it seems like everything is moving so fast, but it seems so right.  When you find the person you are meant to be with, why wait?  Will you marry me?" I asked her.  "Yes, I want to marry you and be your wife.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she answered.  I placed the ring on her finger and we kissed.  I guess the people around us knew what was happening and applauded.  That was one of the most pivotal and important night of my life.  Sharon and I were now engaged.

Moving In

Sharon and I were inseparable.  She was either over at my apartment or I was with her at the Reseda house.  I guess we just couldn't bear to be apart from each other.  Our relationship was out in the open to our family and friends.  We never said anything at work but they knew.  I guess it was obvious in the way we looked at each other or how we interacted.   We saw each other at work every day as we drove together, usually had lunch together, and we went home together.  Even though our relationship was fairly new, there wasn't much we didn't know about each other.  We spent hours really talking and really getting to know each other.  There was no topic that was off limits so we could always talk about anything with each other.  In that short time, we were really each other's best friend.  We were very much in love with each other, but we genuinely liked each other.  We had already discussed wanting to spend the rest of our lives together.  We spoke of marriage.  Sharon told me that she had never felt so at ease or comfortable with anyone as she was with me.  She said that she could really be herself around me.  All of our habits were out in the open, both good and bad.  She wasn't shy or afraid to eat around me.  Sharon really loved food and we both had similar tastes in food.  I grew up in Guam and we had similar foods to what she grew up on.  In the short time we were together, we managed to have our own "favorite" places to go.  My brother and I shared a one-bedroom place but with Sharon always around it was about to get crowded.  Between Christmas and New Year's we were ok as my brother Gene was back home in Guam.  I had said something to the apartment manager early in December as my brother and I wanted to move to a bigger place.  One afternoon, the apartment manager knocked on my door and told me that he had a bigger unit that would be available by the weekend.  Sharon and I went to see it.  It was a two-bedroom place, where each bedroom was self-contained with its own bathroom and the living area  was in the middle.  It was perfect.  When we got back, we were talking about the apartment and how it would be perfect.  In my mind I was contemplating asking her to move in with me. I fell deeply in love with her and I wanted to be with her all the time.   It probably wasn't the conventional thing to do.  I wasn't sure how she would take it or what her response would be.  I took a deep breath and decided to ask. "How do you feel about moving in with me? I know that it's a big step but we know that we are going to get married", I said. "Really.  You want me to live with you?" she replied.  "Only if you want to.  I love you.  I want us to be together and I don't like being away from you.  We are practically living together already", I told her.  "I love you, too.  I don't like being away from you either.  Do you really want to live together?" she replied.  "I really do.  I want to be with you all the time",  I told her.  She flashed her beautiful smile and moved to hug and kiss me.  I guess that was her way of saying yes.  We informed the apartment manager and we quickly finished all of the details.  We had the keys and cleaned up the new place.  We were both fanatical when it came to being clean.  She told her brother Dan and her sister-in-law, Susan.  They seemed pretty excited about the news.  So excited that they offered to help us move right away.  The day she moved, we loaded her furniture on their pickup and they helped  us move it into our new place.  Since we were in West LA, we went for Hawaiian food nearby.   Sharon and I were about to start on our new life together.

Christmas and the Big "M"

Sharon and I were spending more time together during December heading to our first Christmas together.  It was pretty clear that things were getting serious between us.  We were inseparable and we never wanted to be apart.  We really got to know each other in such a short amount of time.  Whenever we weren't together, which wasn't very often, we spent countless hours on the phone talking  It wasn't just small talk, there wasn't much we didn't tell each other.  She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her.  Sharon was the first woman that I ever really let completely inside my heart.  We had already confessed that we were in love with each other.  We spoke of having a future together and the "M" word was mentioned.   Neither one of us flinched at the topic.  It was as though it was our destiny to be married.  I remember we were together and I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that I could see her being my wife.  Sharon told me that she felt the same way and that she had never been more certain as she was with me.  I remember that she told me that some of her closest friends were skeptical.  "Why does he want to marry you after such a short time?  Does he have an immigration problem?  What about the age difference?" they would ask.  Biologically, there was an almost 10-year age difference between us.  I used to tell her that she was more mature for her age and I didn't act my age, so we were really close emotionally.  We went to pick out a Christmas tree together for my apartment.  I got her to agree on a Douglas Fir tree as that was what I had growing up.  We had fun decorating it together and wrapping gifts for our family and friends.   We spent Christmas Eve at her brother Jeff's house as that was their family tradition.  I met most of her family that lived close by.  Her aunt and uncle, her cousins, nieces and nephews.  I remember we had to bring a white elephant gift and I had something some picture that ended up with her oldest nephew, Nathan.  He really liked it.  After the party we went back to my apartment and I took her to midnight mass at St. Monica's Church.  The next morning we exchanged presents and cards.  I was so touched by the words on her card:

To my fiancee Cesar,
I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you.  You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.  I just want you to know how much you mean to me.  You are the most important person in my life and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.  There isn't a minute, hour, or day that goes by where I'm not thinking of you, us.  I have never loved, wanted, or needed anyone as much as I loved, wanted, or needed you.  My feelings grow stronger for you each day an I cherish what we have.  What we have is so special and I promise to never let anything happen to it, us.  You mean the world to me and I love you and will always love you with all my heart.  Merry Christmas Honey.


Love Always,
Sharon


P.S. I will always cherish our first Christmas together.  It means so much to me that you stayed home to spend Christmas with me.  Thank You.  I Love You,


I was struck that she referred to me as her fiancee.  I think she knew that we were meant for each other.  That morning we went to their house in Reseda, where her friend Jamie and her husband, John lived as well.  We also spent the day at her Aunt's house in Chatsworth, where her family met to celebrate Christmas Day.  I remember being amazed at how close her family was and how they welcomed me in.

Sharon's Birthday

Sharon's birthday was coming up in a little more than a week and I was trying to figure out what to get her.  I had been hinting around Sharon trying to figure out what she liked and used.  I was racking my brain to try and find something really special for her.  Something that would express how I feel.  I wanted something that would touch her heart.  Even though we had only been together for a short time, there was something different about us.  Something different in the way I felt about her.  She inspired me to be better and she was so easy to love.  It was like I had been waiting all my life for her and somewhere deep inside my head, I knew she was there.  It was as though I had an outline in my mind of this person but I could never make out the face.  It wasn't until Sharon came into my life that it became clear.  It was if my life started when she entered it.  I had decided for her birthday,  I was going to take her to the Charthouse in Malibu.  I also picked out a gold cross necklace.  It was simple but elegant and it really seemed to be perfect for her.  I wanted something that special that would guard her heart.  The cross symbolized the ultimate sacrifice that was made for us.  I also found a little teddy bear that had a zipper that I could hide the necklace in.  I got her a card that took me awhile to find.  I had written some of what I felt in the card.  But it didn't seem like enough.  How do you write in a few words, what someone means to you and how quickly and completely you have fallen for them?  I started to write down some thoughts and emotions and before I knew it, I turned it into a poem.  Before Sharon, I had never written any poetry.  Maybe once in English class and that was forced.  I just felt inspired.  Sharon brought out the best in me.

“The Precious Gift of You”

Each day I thank the Lord,

For the precious gift of you.

A gift that I can never repay,

But for which I am eternally grateful.

Life’s trials and tribulations darkened my very existence,

That I never dared to look  beyond tomorrow’s promises.

Each day I come to realize,

Just how much you changed my life.

A look, a smile, one long glance,

Gave me reasons to take a chance.

With you I dare to dream,

For all tomorrows to come.

With you I know that everything is possible,

For I have been given the most precious gift of all,

The gift of love and life,

The gift of you.

Her birthday fell on a work day.  I had orchids delivered to her desk that day.  We left work early together so that we could change for our date.  I drove her to the Chart House in Malibu.  We took the drive on the coast.  We had a very nice dinner as our table was over looking the ocean.  The waiter was nice enough to take pictures of us.  After dinner I gave her the present with the card.  She opened the gift first and she saw the little bear.  I think she liked it but seemed a little puzzled.  I smiled and told her that her real gift was somewhere on that bear.  She discovered the little compartment and opened it.  She found the necklace and her smile lit up her face.  I put it on her and then she opened her card.  She smiled even more and her eyes teared up as she read her poem.  We took a walk along the beach, holding hands and just taking in the moment.  

To Go or Not to Go

I had plans to go home to Guam for Christmas.  I was going to visit my dad.  My brother Gene had already gone home for Christmas and he would be there until the new year.  I hadn't bought my tickets yet and had been kicking the idea around.  But all of that was before I met Sharon.  Somehow the thought of leaving Sharon behind was not something I wanted to do.  Our relationship was just starting.  Given how everything had transpired, I had this uneasy feeling that I shouldn't leave for the holidays.   It was like I had been here before.  There were a lot of parallels with my relationship with Sharon and my previous relationship.  The similarities were striking.  They were both tall, slender, striking, and quiet Asian women with similar demeanors. They both had two older brothers, each had one named Dan.  Also, they both had serious relationships named Dan.  Even though Sharon's was one person removed,  I really wasn't concerned with the relationship she had just ended.  I never really thought that she was really serious about him.  She did tell me about her relationship before the one she just ended.  That one lasted several years and it seemed like she never really gave the other person closure.  His name was Dan and that gave me that scary flashback.  I had told Sharon that I was planning on going to Guam for Christmas. She told me that she would miss me and wanted me to stay but would understand if I wanted to go and see my family. Something told me to stay home during the holidays.  I guess when push came to shove, I didn't want to be away from the person that I fell in love with.  We were at my apartment that evening and I broke the news to Sharon that I was staying home for Christmas.   I told her that I didn't want to be away from her and that I wanted us to have our first Christmas together.  I remember that she broke out a big smile that lit up her face.  She hugged and kissed me and told me how much that meant to her and how much she loved me.  Sharon told me that I would never regret my decision.

New Start

Well, it was official.  Sharon and I were now a couple.   We were probably a couple long before.  We were always inseparable at work.  Even after we went home to our own places we would talk on the phone.  Every night we would talk for hours.  There were many nights that we would stay on the phone all night until it was time to get ready for work.  The one thing that stood out was that we just couldn't stand to be away from each other.  There were many times that we went without sleep but we didn't mind.  Before we were "official", she didn't bring me around to her family.  Sharon didn't want to have to explain the sneaking around.  Even though it was pretty obvious to the people at work, we never admitted we were dating - YET.  There was something different about our relationship.  We talked about everything and we revealed so much of ourselves, our past to each other.  There wasn't anything we didn't discuss or knew about each other.  She started staying over with me at my place.  We would drive in to work together.  One time, we were getting out of my car in the parking lot and one of my co-workers spotted us.  He asked me if we were together.  I replied that I gave her a ride from her car as she parked on the streets.  He gave me a look of disbelief.  She started to tell her family about us.  Her brothers, their wives, her close cousins and closest friends.  They encouraged her to start bringing me around.  I guess she was not too surprised that none of them thought much of her previous relationship.  Mostly, they kept their disapproval to themselves.    The first family member that I met was her oldest brother, Jeff.  Sharon brought me to Cornerstone Community Church for a Christmas program.  Her brother had a singing role.  It was a nice program and I got to meet him and some of his children.  She started bringing me to her house.  Sharon lived with her brother Dan and his family at the house that they all grew up in.  I had been there before but it was either late at night or early in the morning so I never had run into them before.  I remember meeting her niece, Erin, who seemed totally immersed in Sharon.  She looked up to her and really liked being around Sharon. She was quiet but her eyes followed everything that Sharon did.  I am not sure what she thought about me.  But after we were official we were never apart from each other so she would frequently see me around.

Finally...

Our company was having a Christmas party in early December.  It was to be a pretty big event, everyone would be dressed up.  Guys would be in their suits and the ladies would be in their cocktail dresses.  Everyone was talking about it.   Unfortunately for me, Sharon was going to attend with her current relationship,  as these plans were made before she and I got together.  It was two weeks before his finals and she didn't want to make any waves.  Since it would be a late night, the company decided to reserve hotel rooms for people that wanted to stay over.  Her other relationship had asked Sharon to stay over.  She had told me that he wanted to do that.  I told Sharon that if she did, we were over.  She said she wouldn't do that.  I decided to go and would take this woman that I coached with named Merrill. We were friends and she had met Sharon and knew about our relationship.  Some of my other friends around the soccer circle believed that she was interested in me but I never got that vibe.  But after I met Sharon it was pretty hard to notice anything or anyone else.  Merrill had told some of our players that we were going to a party together and they were pretty excited.  I guess they still hadn't figured out who Sharon was.  It was a pretty strange evening all the way around.  All of my friends at work were probably wondering why Merrill and I kept telling them that we were just friends.  As we were seated at our table, I caught a glimpse of Sharon coming in.  She was beautiful as always.  I couldn't take my eyes of off her.  Merrill ran into Sharon in the ladies room and told her that I was pining away for her.  Even though Sharon and I had agreed to depart from the party early and meet up afterwards, it seemed like the longest night of my life.  I left the party after a couple of hours and dropped Merrill off at her apartment.  I gave her the prize that I had one at the party.  We chatted for a little while and I quickly left.  Sharon called me a little later and we got into an argument because she ended up staying longer than we agreed upon.  I was upset as I hung up the phone.  About 30 minutes later she showed up at my apartment.  We made up and stayed up all night talking (well there was a lot of kissing and hugging involved).  That following morning we went to Denny's and had breakfast together.  She left my place around 9:00 am to head home as I had several games to coach that day.

The following week, her other relationship completed his final exams and she broke up with him over the phone.  So finally, we were free to be with each other openly.  She drove to my apartment to tell me and we were so happy.  That night was the first time we both said those three words that changes everything.  That night we finally admitted what we were feeling for so long, that we were in love.

Near Miss

Things have been going well between Sharon and me.  We were inseparable at work and I would always drop her off to her car in the evenings and we would always linger.  There were a couple of unresolved things that were hanging over our heads.  One was her relationship and the other was an obligation that I took on for the time being.  We decided to go on a date during the week.  I decided that it was time for her to meet the little girl that I was occasionally caring for.  I am not sure if I really thought this all the way through.  We went to a place in Westwood and we had a nice dinner and thought that we had a good time.  After dinner, the three of us went to my apartment and Sharon asked to speak to me alone.  She started to cry as she began talking.  She told me that she had very deep feelings for me but she couldn't be with anyone with baggage.  Sharon said that she would bow out as to not upset the little girl.  That even though it was hard for her she was doing it for the little girl.  She didn't want to be with someone that had ties.  I was stunned at what she was saying.  Slowly, I started to find the words to say.  I asked her one question, "Do you have feelings for me?"  She said, yes.  I told her that I have very strong and deep feelings for her and that I didn't want to lose her.  I told Sharon that I would choose her over anything and that it wasn't a choice.   She seemed relieved at what I had told her.  She held me close and we shared a long, passionate kiss.

But there was one more thing that was hovering over us and that was her relationship.  She told me that she wanted to end it but couldn't do it yet.  He was getting ready to take his final exams for his MBA program and didn't want to affect that.  So we would continue to see each other.  She said that they rarely saw each other.  The next morning I had flowers delivered to her desk.  I had orchids sent to her because I thought roses did not suit seem to suit her.  She was so happy to receive them and she came by to thank me.  We went to lunch together that day and when we came back she had a surprise visitor.  It was her relationship and he had come to visit her.  He asked about the flowers but she made some excuse about her brother.  He had told her that it looked like his promotion was going to come through along with some back pay.  He wanted to use the backpay to buy an engagement ring.  I told her that she needed to tell him soon before he went to buy a ring.  She told me not to worry that he was too cheap to buy the ring and wouldn't.  So we continued to see each other quietly as she waited for his finals to be done.

Getting Complicated

It was the Saturday after our first kiss.  As usual, my day consisted of practically living at the soccer fields coaching my three teams.  But that day, I was anxious and restless.  I couldn't get Sharon out of my mind.  I kept replaying our kiss and the time that we spent together.  That evening, I was dropping off the little girl that I was helping care for.  She was from a broken home and her older sister was on one of my teams that I coached.  She was always hanging around our games and practices.  Somehow she was attached to me.  I would take her and do things with her like ice skating, movies, train her in soccer.  She is from a pretty dysfunctional family. Her mom and older brother are in and out of rehab.  I think that I provided an escape for her.  It was pretty crazy when I dropped her off.  A lot arguing and screaming.  I was pretty upset leaving her at her house.  My mind drifted to Sharon.  I stopped by a pay phone to call her.  It was getting late but I had to hear her voice. The phone rang and she answered.  I told her that something upset me and just needed to hear her voice.  Bu I also wanted to see her.  Sharon said she did as well and proceeded to give me directions to her house in Reseda.  The really strange part was that I didn't write it down.  God must have really wanted me to see her that day because I was able to get there easily and I am horrible with directions.  Maybe the car drove itself.  I got to her house and she was waiting outside.  She waited outside so as not to have to explain who I was to her brother.  She got in my car and we went for a drive.  It was the first time that we saw each other since we kissed and I really wasn't sure what to expect.  Sharon gave me and hug and we kissed.  We spent the night together and we just stayed up being with each other.   If we were tired it really didn't show.  I dropped her off that morning.  Later that day, I called her and we talked for hours.

The week following was Thanksgiving.  I was even more excited to go to work knowing that I would see her.  These days when I would take her to her car, we would stay quite a bit longer as neither of us wanted to say goodbye.  It was customary on the day before Thanksgiving that our office would close early and allow us to go home.  That day, Sharon and I left early but we stayed in the car just being with each other.  We spent quite a few hours just talking, without paying attention to the time.  On Thanksgiving day, Sharon spent the day with her family and I was over at one of my friend's home for the day.  She was never far from my thoughts and I was wondering if she was thinking of me as well.  The days following Thanksgiving were always a busy time for me.  It was a big soccer tournament weekend and as usual, I had two teams entered in a tournament in Pasadena.  It was possibly eight games in two days.  I had told Sharon what I was doing that weekend and didn't really expect to see much of her.  But to my surprise, she showed up at my apartment before I was to leave for the first game.    She came with me to the games and braved the cold and the wind.  We had lunch in between games with some of the parents who have been with me for a few years.  My teams didn't advance to the championship games that weekend.  But for some reason, I really didn't mind.  Sharon stayed with me at my apartment that entire weekend.  We spent it together and we never left each other's side.  I think we both never wanted that weekend to end.

Something's Happening

Things have been going well between Sharon and I.  There was no awkwardness after her phone call.  We continued to hang around each other at work.  I would always visit her cube in the morning and we would usually go to lunch either just with each other or with a large group.  Even if we were in a large group we would always find a way to sit together and everyone would just fade into the backdrop.  We were pretty much inseparable.  The running joke around the office was if you found one of us, the other one would be there as well.  I found another way to spend more time with her.  Since Sharon was new to the company, she would have to park in the streets a few blocks from our building.  It was November so it would be dark by the time it was time for her to leave.  I would always come by when I knew she would be leaving and offer her a ride to her car.  So as to not make her feel bad, I would pretend that I was leaving as well and I could drop her on my way out.  She never knew that I would actually come back to work to finish up but I didn't want her to walk alone in the dark.  I guess some lessons your parents taught you actually stick.

The routine was that I would pretend to pack up and happen to pass by her cube, as she was getting ready to leave.  I had her schedule down to the exact minute.  Sometimes I got the feeling that she was waiting for me and that she would be conveniently waiting at the exact time.  I would stop by and ask her if she wanted a ride and the answer was always yes.  We would walk to the elevators, which would take us to the parking levels.  I would always open her door for her.  We would drive to her car and I would park next to it.  We would sit and talk for a while.  Time seemed to stand still when we were together.  We would talk and before you knew it, a few hours had gone by.

This went on for a while and it was a week before Thanksgiving.  I felt like something was going on between us.  It was kind of unspoken, but I believe that she felt it as well.  It was in the way we looked at each other when our eyes would meet, or the way we spoke to each other.  Whenever it was time to say goodbye, we would linger and it seemed that neither of us wanted to go.  It was Friday and we were heading to the elevator for the ride to her car.  My hand accidentally brushed against hers and I made some comment on what it would be like to hold her hand.  She grabbed my hand, squeezed it and said that I didn't have to wonder anymore.  It was quiet as we drove to her car.  I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I didn't know why this was happening.  We parked beside her car and began to talk.  She told me she couldn't stay too long as she had a date.  Somehow, we leaned close to each other and our eyes met.   My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.  We began to kiss.  All of those emotions from waiting just seemed to explode.  Somehow a few minutes turned into a few hours.   We didn't notice how much time had past, but when we did, she had to leave for her date.  I was thinking that this was going to get complicated.

Reflection

I was home one evening and recalling the events of the day.  My mind quickly turned to Sharon and how I had invited her to do something outside of work.  My not-so indirect way of asking her out.  I recalled giving her my number and leaving her with the choice on what to do.  She was on my mind quite a bit these days.  There was something very different about her.  I found myself thinking about her quite often whenever she wasn't around.  Like they say, out of sight but not out of mind.  Not much about her would escape me,  from what she was wearing, how she wore her hair, her soft voice, and her eyes.  I still felt as though she was very familiar, that I had known her before.  There was something about the way we would talk to each other, very at ease as if we had known each other for years.  I was quite certain that I had never, ever felt this way before.  The more I got to know her the more beautiful she became. 

I was listening to some music when the phone rang.  It was Sharon.  She wanted to talk.  She finally told me about her relationship that she was kind of engaged.  She told me that his name was Paul and it was someone that I knew.  He worked for another division in our company and I had actually been to his office to train him.  I realized that I had seen her picture on his desk.  Sharon told me that she was dating another guy named Dan for awhile but he had no ambition and no direction.  Their relationship had just run its course.  So when she met Paul she was impressed that he knew what he wanted and how to get there.  There was no engagement ring or no romantic proposal it was just a conversation that they had.  She told me that her family didn't really approve of her choice and that they didn't really care for the guy.  And now she was beginning to question it herself.  I told her that we could just hang out and there was really no pressure from my side.  As we said good night a few hours later, I was struck by that despite all that she told me, Sharon never ever mentioned the word love or expressed any emotion.

I thought that it was funny how things work out.  A few years back, I was almost in the exact same place that I was in now.  I met someone at a company party.  She was strikingly similar to Sharon, tall, Asian, soft spoken, and beautiful eyes.  We had started hanging out at work and when I asked her out, she told me she had a boyfriend and I apologized.  She called me later that day apologizing for what she said.  She, too, was conflicted.  We ended up dating and got pretty serious but it ended as she went back to her boyfriend.  Now here I am two years later and it's deja vu.  This will be interesting.

Getting Closer

During Sharon's first month working at our corporate headquarters, we started to hang out with each other.   I was always the early riser and would get in around 7:00 or 7:30 am every morning.  Sharon was not a morning person and would usually stroll in around 9:00 am.  Time seemed to stand still for me as 9:00 am couldn't come around fast enough.  I couldn't wait to see her, how she would wear her hair and what she would be wearing.  But most of all, I couldn't wait to hear her voice.  Since I knew what time she would arrive, I would always stop by a few minutes later to say hello and make small conversation.  Some times she would be running late and I would remark, "Oh, you just got here."  She was trying to play down her late arrival and I probably didn't help matters.  But I would always stop by and chat.  I even added to her initial training.  Since we were in Burbank, a group of us would go to lunch together on a regular basis.  We would always include her.  Sharon and I would always find ourselves sitting next to each other chatting.  I remember asking her if she liked to ice skate as that was one of the things that I enjoyed doing, the cold and the gliding feeling of the ice beneath my feet.  I told her that we should go sometime.  Throughout that time, I would often think about her in the evenings.  I would wonder what she was doing and whether she was thinking about me as well.  Sharon was never far from my thoughts.  I remember listening to songs on the radio that would immediately make me think of her.  Something did puzzle me.  Patrick had said that she was engaged, but I didn't see a ring on her finger or any pictures on her desk.  Also, during our many conversations there was never any talk of a significant other.  I did give her openings to say something, still there was no mention of it.

Sometime later, after really doing some soul-searching, I decided to do something about how I felt.  We had just gotten back from lunch and I walked her to her cube.  My heart was racing as I asked her if she wanted to do something outside of work.  I kept thinking to myself that it seemed like an eternity for her response.  Sharon told me that she had some things to figure out and that she wasn't sure about her relationship.  So I took a big breath and grabbed a piece of paper and pen.  I started writing and gave her the paper.  I told her, "Here is my phone number.  If you figure it out and you are free give me a call.   If not, no worries."  As I walked away I couldn't help but feel like I had been in this situation before.  Hopefully, this one would be different.

First Impressions

My boss had given me a very ambitious deadline and I was trying to figure out how I was going to meet it. Patrick came over and introduced me to his replacement.  Wouldn't you know it, it was Sharon?  I have a very bad habit of being too focused on my tasks.  I was preoccupied as we were introduced.  But to this day I still remember that smile that seemed to light up the entire room.   Her smile could melt a glacier.  I was short and to the point and knowing myself, I probably said something that I thought was funny.   Patrick told me that she would be coming to me for her training.  I was responsible for the financial systems and I also doubled as the trainer.  I told Patrick that he could also train her, but that I would make time.  So I scheduled it with Sharon.

So I guess I really made an impression on her.  Some time after they left, Patrick came by to see me.  He said, "Great going, Sherlock.  She wants me to train her as she thinks you are too arrogant and over confident.  But I told her that you are an excellent trainer."

Later in that day, Sharon came by for her training.  We started to talk and she noticed my pictures on my desk.  There were three, my family, my current soccer team that I coached and the little girl that I took care of.  She told me that she was Hawaiian, Japanese, Chinese, and English.  Sharon told me about her large Hawaiian family, about her Mom and Dad, her brothers, and cousins.  It was supposed to be a two-hour training session, but it lasted until it was time to leave.  Time just flew by and I was surprised at the ease at which we both were.  I was impressed by how she spoke of her goals and that she knew what she wanted. She told me she wanted to buy a house or condo in Westlake Village.  But I was I really touched by how she spoke about her family and how important they were to her.  Sharon was beautiful, but what struck me the most, was the more I got to know about her, the more beautiful she became.  As she said goodbye, I couldn't help think that in all that time, never was there once a mention of a boyfriend.  That night I couldn't help but think about her and wondered if was thinking about me as well.  I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't shake.

Our First Glance

It was late October and there was a buzz around the office today.  Everyone was talking about the young woman in the lobby, especially the guys.  She was supposed to be transferring in from one of our other offices.  I happened to walk by our CIO's office and there she was.  I smiled at her and she smiled back.  She had an incredible smile, it would light up an entire room.  There was something very different about her.  She was wearing a flower pattern outfit,  I believe the correct term was a skort (part shorts/part skirt).  She was tall, mostly legs with shoulder-length brown hair.  By looking at her, she could have passed for a multitude of nationalities.  She looked exotic, like she was a mixture of Asian and Caucasian.   One of my friends asked me, "Isn't she beautiful?".  I quickly remarked that I thought she was ok, not wanting to reveal what I really thought.  He shot me a quizzical look to let me know he didn't believe me.  As I walked away, I couldn't help feel that there was something familiar about her and I was certain that I had seen her before.

Later that day, I saw her with Patrick, who was the assistant to the CIO and was transferring to another area. I asked about her.  He told me that her name is Sharon and she would be taking his place.  He also added that she was taken and was engaged to someone high up.  I kept thinking about her and how beautiful she was and thought to myself, it’s too bad she is taken.