Reflection

I was home one evening and recalling the events of the day.  My mind quickly turned to Sharon and how I had invited her to do something outside of work.  My not-so indirect way of asking her out.  I recalled giving her my number and leaving her with the choice on what to do.  She was on my mind quite a bit these days.  There was something very different about her.  I found myself thinking about her quite often whenever she wasn't around.  Like they say, out of sight but not out of mind.  Not much about her would escape me,  from what she was wearing, how she wore her hair, her soft voice, and her eyes.  I still felt as though she was very familiar, that I had known her before.  There was something about the way we would talk to each other, very at ease as if we had known each other for years.  I was quite certain that I had never, ever felt this way before.  The more I got to know her the more beautiful she became. 

I was listening to some music when the phone rang.  It was Sharon.  She wanted to talk.  She finally told me about her relationship that she was kind of engaged.  She told me that his name was Paul and it was someone that I knew.  He worked for another division in our company and I had actually been to his office to train him.  I realized that I had seen her picture on his desk.  Sharon told me that she was dating another guy named Dan for awhile but he had no ambition and no direction.  Their relationship had just run its course.  So when she met Paul she was impressed that he knew what he wanted and how to get there.  There was no engagement ring or no romantic proposal it was just a conversation that they had.  She told me that her family didn't really approve of her choice and that they didn't really care for the guy.  And now she was beginning to question it herself.  I told her that we could just hang out and there was really no pressure from my side.  As we said good night a few hours later, I was struck by that despite all that she told me, Sharon never ever mentioned the word love or expressed any emotion.

I thought that it was funny how things work out.  A few years back, I was almost in the exact same place that I was in now.  I met someone at a company party.  She was strikingly similar to Sharon, tall, Asian, soft spoken, and beautiful eyes.  We had started hanging out at work and when I asked her out, she told me she had a boyfriend and I apologized.  She called me later that day apologizing for what she said.  She, too, was conflicted.  We ended up dating and got pretty serious but it ended as she went back to her boyfriend.  Now here I am two years later and it's deja vu.  This will be interesting.