Popping the Question

Sharon and I were now living together.  We had already discussed marriage.  We were pretty serious, pretty quickly.  I remember asking her if she would consider marrying me.  She didn't hesitate at all.  She started to refer to me as her fiancee.  We spoke about spending the rest of our lives with each other.  Neither one of us was afraid of the "M" word.  It just felt right.  I remember thinking that whenever we weren't together that there was something really missing.  It was so amazing when she would walk into a room, our eyes would always meet and everyone would just fade into the back.  I guess you might say that I fell hard and fast.  Moving in together was an adjustment.  I know that her Mom was pretty freaked out about the whole thing.  I imagine Sharon's conversation with her mom went someting like this.  I broke up with my previous boyfriend/fiancee.  I got together with Cesar and have moved in with him and we are planning to get married.  Her mom was beside herself about it and she talked to Sharon's brothers pleading with them to talk to her.  Luckily, her brothers actually liked me.  Her brother Jeff had told her that I was a nice guy and that his kids really took to me.  He told her that Sharon had other boyfriends before.  But her mom's big thing was that Sharon had moved out of the Reseda house and moved in with me.  One day she called our apartment and was talking to Sharon.  Sharon proceeded to hand me the phone to talk to her.  It was pretty awkward.   I don't really remember what I said but I know there was quite a bit of silence.  I guess Sharon wanted her to meet me and feel better about the man she chose.  So that was my first encounter with Sharon's mom.
Over the course of several days, I took her shopping which was one of her favorite activities.  I managed to pick places close to a few jewelry stores.  We popped in and were looking at engagement rings.  One of my former player's father owned a pretty big jewelry store and I took her there.  At each place, Sharon was studying each and every pattern and diamond shape.  She tried different ones on.  I finally got her to tell me what she really liked.  Although I didn't need her to, when she slipped one of them on, you could tell by her smile.  It was even more radiant and beautiful than it normally was.  What she liked was elegant and yet very understated and tasteful.  It was beautiful.  She didn't know that I had already been there and worked out a signal with the sales person.  The signal was for the sales person to record what she wanted.
Later that week, I went back to the jewelry store, picked out the design and the diamond.  They already had her size.  It would be ready within a week.  I had made up my mind that I would ask her on New Year's eve.  I made reservations at Yamashiro restaurant in Hollywood.  It was a Japanese restaurant with a stunning view of the city and a garden inside.
A few days before Christmas Eve, I went and picked up her ring.  I was pretty excited and found a place to hide it that she would never look.  I remember the anticipation and the wait seemed like forever.
On Christmas Eve, she went out with some friends during the day.  When she got home, we got ready and went to Yamashiro's.  Our reservation was for 9 pm.  We had a table with a view of the city on the outside and a view of the garden inside.  We finished ordering and I was gazing at her sitting across from me.  I pointed at something so that it would force her to turn to see what I was talking about.  When she turned around, there was an open box with the ring inside it.  Her smile was even brighter than the diamond when she saw the ring.  I held her hand and told her that I was in love with her and I had never felt anything close to that ever.  I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted to spend each day making her happy.  "I know that it seems like everything is moving so fast, but it seems so right.  When you find the person you are meant to be with, why wait?  Will you marry me?" I asked her.  "Yes, I want to marry you and be your wife.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she answered.  I placed the ring on her finger and we kissed.  I guess the people around us knew what was happening and applauded.  That was one of the most pivotal and important night of my life.  Sharon and I were now engaged.

Moving In

Sharon and I were inseparable.  She was either over at my apartment or I was with her at the Reseda house.  I guess we just couldn't bear to be apart from each other.  Our relationship was out in the open to our family and friends.  We never said anything at work but they knew.  I guess it was obvious in the way we looked at each other or how we interacted.   We saw each other at work every day as we drove together, usually had lunch together, and we went home together.  Even though our relationship was fairly new, there wasn't much we didn't know about each other.  We spent hours really talking and really getting to know each other.  There was no topic that was off limits so we could always talk about anything with each other.  In that short time, we were really each other's best friend.  We were very much in love with each other, but we genuinely liked each other.  We had already discussed wanting to spend the rest of our lives together.  We spoke of marriage.  Sharon told me that she had never felt so at ease or comfortable with anyone as she was with me.  She said that she could really be herself around me.  All of our habits were out in the open, both good and bad.  She wasn't shy or afraid to eat around me.  Sharon really loved food and we both had similar tastes in food.  I grew up in Guam and we had similar foods to what she grew up on.  In the short time we were together, we managed to have our own "favorite" places to go.  My brother and I shared a one-bedroom place but with Sharon always around it was about to get crowded.  Between Christmas and New Year's we were ok as my brother Gene was back home in Guam.  I had said something to the apartment manager early in December as my brother and I wanted to move to a bigger place.  One afternoon, the apartment manager knocked on my door and told me that he had a bigger unit that would be available by the weekend.  Sharon and I went to see it.  It was a two-bedroom place, where each bedroom was self-contained with its own bathroom and the living area  was in the middle.  It was perfect.  When we got back, we were talking about the apartment and how it would be perfect.  In my mind I was contemplating asking her to move in with me. I fell deeply in love with her and I wanted to be with her all the time.   It probably wasn't the conventional thing to do.  I wasn't sure how she would take it or what her response would be.  I took a deep breath and decided to ask. "How do you feel about moving in with me? I know that it's a big step but we know that we are going to get married", I said. "Really.  You want me to live with you?" she replied.  "Only if you want to.  I love you.  I want us to be together and I don't like being away from you.  We are practically living together already", I told her.  "I love you, too.  I don't like being away from you either.  Do you really want to live together?" she replied.  "I really do.  I want to be with you all the time",  I told her.  She flashed her beautiful smile and moved to hug and kiss me.  I guess that was her way of saying yes.  We informed the apartment manager and we quickly finished all of the details.  We had the keys and cleaned up the new place.  We were both fanatical when it came to being clean.  She told her brother Dan and her sister-in-law, Susan.  They seemed pretty excited about the news.  So excited that they offered to help us move right away.  The day she moved, we loaded her furniture on their pickup and they helped  us move it into our new place.  Since we were in West LA, we went for Hawaiian food nearby.   Sharon and I were about to start on our new life together.

Christmas and the Big "M"

Sharon and I were spending more time together during December heading to our first Christmas together.  It was pretty clear that things were getting serious between us.  We were inseparable and we never wanted to be apart.  We really got to know each other in such a short amount of time.  Whenever we weren't together, which wasn't very often, we spent countless hours on the phone talking  It wasn't just small talk, there wasn't much we didn't tell each other.  She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her.  Sharon was the first woman that I ever really let completely inside my heart.  We had already confessed that we were in love with each other.  We spoke of having a future together and the "M" word was mentioned.   Neither one of us flinched at the topic.  It was as though it was our destiny to be married.  I remember we were together and I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that I could see her being my wife.  Sharon told me that she felt the same way and that she had never been more certain as she was with me.  I remember that she told me that some of her closest friends were skeptical.  "Why does he want to marry you after such a short time?  Does he have an immigration problem?  What about the age difference?" they would ask.  Biologically, there was an almost 10-year age difference between us.  I used to tell her that she was more mature for her age and I didn't act my age, so we were really close emotionally.  We went to pick out a Christmas tree together for my apartment.  I got her to agree on a Douglas Fir tree as that was what I had growing up.  We had fun decorating it together and wrapping gifts for our family and friends.   We spent Christmas Eve at her brother Jeff's house as that was their family tradition.  I met most of her family that lived close by.  Her aunt and uncle, her cousins, nieces and nephews.  I remember we had to bring a white elephant gift and I had something some picture that ended up with her oldest nephew, Nathan.  He really liked it.  After the party we went back to my apartment and I took her to midnight mass at St. Monica's Church.  The next morning we exchanged presents and cards.  I was so touched by the words on her card:

To my fiancee Cesar,
I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you.  You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.  I just want you to know how much you mean to me.  You are the most important person in my life and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.  There isn't a minute, hour, or day that goes by where I'm not thinking of you, us.  I have never loved, wanted, or needed anyone as much as I loved, wanted, or needed you.  My feelings grow stronger for you each day an I cherish what we have.  What we have is so special and I promise to never let anything happen to it, us.  You mean the world to me and I love you and will always love you with all my heart.  Merry Christmas Honey.


Love Always,
Sharon


P.S. I will always cherish our first Christmas together.  It means so much to me that you stayed home to spend Christmas with me.  Thank You.  I Love You,


I was struck that she referred to me as her fiancee.  I think she knew that we were meant for each other.  That morning we went to their house in Reseda, where her friend Jamie and her husband, John lived as well.  We also spent the day at her Aunt's house in Chatsworth, where her family met to celebrate Christmas Day.  I remember being amazed at how close her family was and how they welcomed me in.

Sharon's Birthday

Sharon's birthday was coming up in a little more than a week and I was trying to figure out what to get her.  I had been hinting around Sharon trying to figure out what she liked and used.  I was racking my brain to try and find something really special for her.  Something that would express how I feel.  I wanted something that would touch her heart.  Even though we had only been together for a short time, there was something different about us.  Something different in the way I felt about her.  She inspired me to be better and she was so easy to love.  It was like I had been waiting all my life for her and somewhere deep inside my head, I knew she was there.  It was as though I had an outline in my mind of this person but I could never make out the face.  It wasn't until Sharon came into my life that it became clear.  It was if my life started when she entered it.  I had decided for her birthday,  I was going to take her to the Charthouse in Malibu.  I also picked out a gold cross necklace.  It was simple but elegant and it really seemed to be perfect for her.  I wanted something that special that would guard her heart.  The cross symbolized the ultimate sacrifice that was made for us.  I also found a little teddy bear that had a zipper that I could hide the necklace in.  I got her a card that took me awhile to find.  I had written some of what I felt in the card.  But it didn't seem like enough.  How do you write in a few words, what someone means to you and how quickly and completely you have fallen for them?  I started to write down some thoughts and emotions and before I knew it, I turned it into a poem.  Before Sharon, I had never written any poetry.  Maybe once in English class and that was forced.  I just felt inspired.  Sharon brought out the best in me.

“The Precious Gift of You”

Each day I thank the Lord,

For the precious gift of you.

A gift that I can never repay,

But for which I am eternally grateful.

Life’s trials and tribulations darkened my very existence,

That I never dared to look  beyond tomorrow’s promises.

Each day I come to realize,

Just how much you changed my life.

A look, a smile, one long glance,

Gave me reasons to take a chance.

With you I dare to dream,

For all tomorrows to come.

With you I know that everything is possible,

For I have been given the most precious gift of all,

The gift of love and life,

The gift of you.

Her birthday fell on a work day.  I had orchids delivered to her desk that day.  We left work early together so that we could change for our date.  I drove her to the Chart House in Malibu.  We took the drive on the coast.  We had a very nice dinner as our table was over looking the ocean.  The waiter was nice enough to take pictures of us.  After dinner I gave her the present with the card.  She opened the gift first and she saw the little bear.  I think she liked it but seemed a little puzzled.  I smiled and told her that her real gift was somewhere on that bear.  She discovered the little compartment and opened it.  She found the necklace and her smile lit up her face.  I put it on her and then she opened her card.  She smiled even more and her eyes teared up as she read her poem.  We took a walk along the beach, holding hands and just taking in the moment.  

To Go or Not to Go

I had plans to go home to Guam for Christmas.  I was going to visit my dad.  My brother Gene had already gone home for Christmas and he would be there until the new year.  I hadn't bought my tickets yet and had been kicking the idea around.  But all of that was before I met Sharon.  Somehow the thought of leaving Sharon behind was not something I wanted to do.  Our relationship was just starting.  Given how everything had transpired, I had this uneasy feeling that I shouldn't leave for the holidays.   It was like I had been here before.  There were a lot of parallels with my relationship with Sharon and my previous relationship.  The similarities were striking.  They were both tall, slender, striking, and quiet Asian women with similar demeanors. They both had two older brothers, each had one named Dan.  Also, they both had serious relationships named Dan.  Even though Sharon's was one person removed,  I really wasn't concerned with the relationship she had just ended.  I never really thought that she was really serious about him.  She did tell me about her relationship before the one she just ended.  That one lasted several years and it seemed like she never really gave the other person closure.  His name was Dan and that gave me that scary flashback.  I had told Sharon that I was planning on going to Guam for Christmas. She told me that she would miss me and wanted me to stay but would understand if I wanted to go and see my family. Something told me to stay home during the holidays.  I guess when push came to shove, I didn't want to be away from the person that I fell in love with.  We were at my apartment that evening and I broke the news to Sharon that I was staying home for Christmas.   I told her that I didn't want to be away from her and that I wanted us to have our first Christmas together.  I remember that she broke out a big smile that lit up her face.  She hugged and kissed me and told me how much that meant to her and how much she loved me.  Sharon told me that I would never regret my decision.

New Start

Well, it was official.  Sharon and I were now a couple.   We were probably a couple long before.  We were always inseparable at work.  Even after we went home to our own places we would talk on the phone.  Every night we would talk for hours.  There were many nights that we would stay on the phone all night until it was time to get ready for work.  The one thing that stood out was that we just couldn't stand to be away from each other.  There were many times that we went without sleep but we didn't mind.  Before we were "official", she didn't bring me around to her family.  Sharon didn't want to have to explain the sneaking around.  Even though it was pretty obvious to the people at work, we never admitted we were dating - YET.  There was something different about our relationship.  We talked about everything and we revealed so much of ourselves, our past to each other.  There wasn't anything we didn't discuss or knew about each other.  She started staying over with me at my place.  We would drive in to work together.  One time, we were getting out of my car in the parking lot and one of my co-workers spotted us.  He asked me if we were together.  I replied that I gave her a ride from her car as she parked on the streets.  He gave me a look of disbelief.  She started to tell her family about us.  Her brothers, their wives, her close cousins and closest friends.  They encouraged her to start bringing me around.  I guess she was not too surprised that none of them thought much of her previous relationship.  Mostly, they kept their disapproval to themselves.    The first family member that I met was her oldest brother, Jeff.  Sharon brought me to Cornerstone Community Church for a Christmas program.  Her brother had a singing role.  It was a nice program and I got to meet him and some of his children.  She started bringing me to her house.  Sharon lived with her brother Dan and his family at the house that they all grew up in.  I had been there before but it was either late at night or early in the morning so I never had run into them before.  I remember meeting her niece, Erin, who seemed totally immersed in Sharon.  She looked up to her and really liked being around Sharon. She was quiet but her eyes followed everything that Sharon did.  I am not sure what she thought about me.  But after we were official we were never apart from each other so she would frequently see me around.

Finally...

Our company was having a Christmas party in early December.  It was to be a pretty big event, everyone would be dressed up.  Guys would be in their suits and the ladies would be in their cocktail dresses.  Everyone was talking about it.   Unfortunately for me, Sharon was going to attend with her current relationship,  as these plans were made before she and I got together.  It was two weeks before his finals and she didn't want to make any waves.  Since it would be a late night, the company decided to reserve hotel rooms for people that wanted to stay over.  Her other relationship had asked Sharon to stay over.  She had told me that he wanted to do that.  I told Sharon that if she did, we were over.  She said she wouldn't do that.  I decided to go and would take this woman that I coached with named Merrill. We were friends and she had met Sharon and knew about our relationship.  Some of my other friends around the soccer circle believed that she was interested in me but I never got that vibe.  But after I met Sharon it was pretty hard to notice anything or anyone else.  Merrill had told some of our players that we were going to a party together and they were pretty excited.  I guess they still hadn't figured out who Sharon was.  It was a pretty strange evening all the way around.  All of my friends at work were probably wondering why Merrill and I kept telling them that we were just friends.  As we were seated at our table, I caught a glimpse of Sharon coming in.  She was beautiful as always.  I couldn't take my eyes of off her.  Merrill ran into Sharon in the ladies room and told her that I was pining away for her.  Even though Sharon and I had agreed to depart from the party early and meet up afterwards, it seemed like the longest night of my life.  I left the party after a couple of hours and dropped Merrill off at her apartment.  I gave her the prize that I had one at the party.  We chatted for a little while and I quickly left.  Sharon called me a little later and we got into an argument because she ended up staying longer than we agreed upon.  I was upset as I hung up the phone.  About 30 minutes later she showed up at my apartment.  We made up and stayed up all night talking (well there was a lot of kissing and hugging involved).  That following morning we went to Denny's and had breakfast together.  She left my place around 9:00 am to head home as I had several games to coach that day.

The following week, her other relationship completed his final exams and she broke up with him over the phone.  So finally, we were free to be with each other openly.  She drove to my apartment to tell me and we were so happy.  That night was the first time we both said those three words that changes everything.  That night we finally admitted what we were feeling for so long, that we were in love.