The FIrst Time ...

We were getting ready to make the trip to Las Vegas.  My brother, Gene and his then-girlfriend, Rose decided to join us.  We got out there and visited all of the usual places.  Sharon and I stopped to get our Marriage License.  I remember being in line waiting with her and saw all of the different people waiting to get their licenses as well.  We seemed so out of place.  There were couples dressed as Elvis and other celebrities as well as some really outrageous costumes.  Sharon and I were wondering what we were doing there. I remember we both looked at each other and just started to laugh.  But we reminded ourselves of what our reason for being there was.  So despite the circus, we forged ahead.  Afterwards, we scheduled our appointment at the Wedding Chapel and then we visited the various shops with my brother, Gene and his girlfriend.  That evening we went to Jaime's Family party.  Sharon really enjoyed parties and asian food.  We had a nice evening together.

That evening, I was contemplating the next day.  It was a big step for us and it seemed strange that we wouldn't have everyone there with us.  But I knew that I have waited all my life for her and there was no one else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  That day was pretty hectic.  We were getting ready and I could tell that Sharon was a bit tense.   I was getting ready and she wanted me to get her bouquet at that precise moment.  I told her that I would do it in a little while and she told me to get it right away or she wouldn't go through with it.  So I bit my tongue and went to pick it up.  When I got back she apologized and kissed me.  We finished getting ready and finally arrived at the Chapel.  We took some pictures outside with my brother, Gene.  We were both there at the chapel with my brother and his girlfriend as our witnesses.  I remember standing there thinking that I had to be dreaming, that this too good to be true.   We were gazing at each other during the ceremony.  I couldn't take my eyes off of her.  I guess we were so oblivious to the person performing the ceremony.  Neither of us  looked at him until he pronounced us husband and wife.  I don't think either of us would ever forget what he did.  He looked at both of us and said, "Cesar. Sharon".  Then he puckered his lips and made the kissing sound.  The weird thing was that neither of us had noticed until then how old he was and that he reminded us of the guy from "Haunted Mansion".  But nothing could have ever ruined that day for either of us.  We were now husband and wife.  I was with the one person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

Moving it up

Our wedding planning continued and Sharon was meticulously knocking off each item on our list.  I still couldn't shake the feeling that I had after the big earthquake.  Sharon's friend Jamie invited us to go to Las Vegas in mid-February.  Her family was having a birthday celebration for her grandfather.   Sharon and I decided that we would go.  In my mind I was contemplating asking her to get married during our trip there.  I remember we were having dinner and I was sitting across from her.  I remember gazing at her and thinking how lucky I was to be the one she chose to be with.  There was something definitely different about how we were together.  I started to tell her that I felt like we should get married before our August date.   She asked me what was the reason that I wanted to get married right away as we already had our date set and our arrangements completed.  I told her how I was feeling and how I felt that I didn't want to continue to live this way.  She didn't quite understand.  I told her that I felt like I had known her my whole life and there wasn't anything that we didn't know about each other.  She asked me about our wedding date in August.  I told her that we should still go through with it, but there would probably be less stress and less pressure as we would already be married.  She asked me if I was afraid she would change her mind if we waited for August.  I told her that I know that we are meant to be together and that wasn't the reason.  Sharon told me that she was in love with me and that nothing could change that.  She said that she wanted to get married as well, but didn't want to tell her family so as to not ruin the August date and she thought they would be upset with her for not including them.  So Sharon said yes, again.

I guess she was a little nervous about it all as we both talked about marriage and that for us it was forever.  We both agreed that it was permanent and a commitment that was not to be taken lightly.  I didn't know until some time later, but she went to see an old boyfriend.  It was her boyfriend before the one she had when we got together.  That was her serious one and she went to get closure.  I guess there was no definitive ending when things had cooled.  He was friend's with one of Sharon's close friends and he was upset that she went to see him.  Sharon's friend told him that she just wanted closure.  With that out of the way,  Sharon began to plan for our Las Vegas wedding.  She began researching possible sites.

Planning & The Big One

Our engagement was official and we were proceeding with our plans.  Sharon was really excited to start planning our wedding.   Bridal magazines were in no short supply in our apartment as she searched for ideas.  She loved all of those shows that would show different weddings at different places.  She would also consult with her brother Jeff for ideas as he had experience with his clients and what they have done or seen.  We both agreed that we wanted a garden wedding.  Some of the other things were pretty much easily decided.  We were going to pay for the wedding ourselves and so we had an idea of what our limit was.  Sharon had decided to have her friend Jaime as her matron of honor and her cousin Loke as her bridesmaid.  She wanted it be about family so her young nieces and nephews would be part of the wedding party.  We began looking at different venues and seeing what they had to offer.  We were unsure what area to have it in due to the logistics of where everyone lived.  We decided that we would focus on finding the right place.  Some weekends and week nights were spent looking at different halls, hotels, etc. and sampling menus.  We finally found a place that mostly did weddings and parties.  It had an outdoor garden where the ceremony could be held and they had two ballrooms.  So we chose the Calabasas Inn to be the site of our new beginning.  We reserved it and began going through our list.  Sharon started a binder organizing everything we would have to do and she kept all of the brochures, receipts, etc.   She was pretty organized and methodical in the way she went about going through the list of things that we had to do.  We  selected our invitations and had already sent the design away to the printers.

Everything was going well but life has a funny way of sending you a curve. It was early in the morning, I was awakened by a rumbling sound.  The next thing I knew there was a violent shaking and Sharon was screaming that it was an earthquake.  Although it was stronger than any earthquake I had ever felt.   We were being tossed around and things were falling all around us.  I covered  Sharon and we just hung on to each other.  After what seemed like an eternity, the shaking stopped.  We got up and checked on my brother Gene, who was hiding under his desk.  We surveyed the damage around our apartment.  Afterwards, we found out how big of an earthquake it was and the damage it made.  We got ready and went to check on her brothers' families.   Everyone was ok and one of our niece's slept through the entire quake.   It was strange in the midst of what happened there was something about how we went through it together.  It affected me in a different way.  I was thinking about how if something had happened and I were to face God and there we were living together.  It really lingered on my mind.

The Reaction

Sharon and I were now officially engaged.  She called her family and broke the news.  I think her brothers were happy for her.  I am not sure how her mom and dad took the news.  They were probably still reeling from the sequence of events that had transpired.  She told her close friends and cousins.  Some of her friends were surprised at how quickly our relationship was moving.   Maybe it was more that they were "alarmed" rather than surprised.  Some were really questioning why I wanted to marry her so fast.  I guess they didn't see what I was looking at.  First, there was the age difference and then I was the "new" office romance.  The immigration issue was mentioned, although they didn't know that I was already a U.S. Citizen.  I guess we just took it for granted that most people would be happy for her and us.  She did tell some of her friends that she met "this great guy".  Sharon made it clear that I was "the guy" for her.  I believe that it happened so fast because we both knew that we were meant to be together.  Everything that happened before led us to that moment where we knew we were in love and it wasn't just the newness of it all, but something deeper.

The first day back at the office, we weren't really advertising our engagement.  We weren't hiding it, but we weren't broadcasting it either.  We never really told people that we were dating.  We were both low key people.  Sharon was the assistant to our Chief Information Officer and there was a big management meeting.  I guess some of the female managers noticed her ring finger as she was taking notes.  I guess they noticed the diamond that was now on her finger.  Apparently there was quite a bit of commotion during the meeting.  A lot of excitement.  They were all congratulating her.  Sharon told me that they seemed geniunely happy for her and told her that I was a great guy,  I wasn't at the meeting but in my area that was in the opposite side of the building.  I never heard all of the commotion during it all as it was behind closed doors.  After the meeting several of the female managers and directors headed straight to my work area. They were all screaming and congratulating me.  They commented that I waited for the right person to come along and then moved very quickly when I found her.  They told me that they had no idea that we were dating.  Our company had a lot of employees that were single and there was some inter-office romances and dating going on.  I had managed to stay out of it until Sharon came along.  Not everyone was happy for me.  There were some guys that were giving me cold stares after the news came out.  So I am sure some of them were upset with me, but I knew that I met the one that I had been waiting all my life for.  I doubt that any of them wanted a long term commitment.  People at the office seemed to be observing us even more, just watching.  For us, nothing really changed.  We both knew that we were right for each other.  We felt it and we both knew that this was different, it was special.  Being together was like breathing, something we had to have, but something that was natural.

Popping the Question

Sharon and I were now living together.  We had already discussed marriage.  We were pretty serious, pretty quickly.  I remember asking her if she would consider marrying me.  She didn't hesitate at all.  She started to refer to me as her fiancee.  We spoke about spending the rest of our lives with each other.  Neither one of us was afraid of the "M" word.  It just felt right.  I remember thinking that whenever we weren't together that there was something really missing.  It was so amazing when she would walk into a room, our eyes would always meet and everyone would just fade into the back.  I guess you might say that I fell hard and fast.  Moving in together was an adjustment.  I know that her Mom was pretty freaked out about the whole thing.  I imagine Sharon's conversation with her mom went someting like this.  I broke up with my previous boyfriend/fiancee.  I got together with Cesar and have moved in with him and we are planning to get married.  Her mom was beside herself about it and she talked to Sharon's brothers pleading with them to talk to her.  Luckily, her brothers actually liked me.  Her brother Jeff had told her that I was a nice guy and that his kids really took to me.  He told her that Sharon had other boyfriends before.  But her mom's big thing was that Sharon had moved out of the Reseda house and moved in with me.  One day she called our apartment and was talking to Sharon.  Sharon proceeded to hand me the phone to talk to her.  It was pretty awkward.   I don't really remember what I said but I know there was quite a bit of silence.  I guess Sharon wanted her to meet me and feel better about the man she chose.  So that was my first encounter with Sharon's mom.
Over the course of several days, I took her shopping which was one of her favorite activities.  I managed to pick places close to a few jewelry stores.  We popped in and were looking at engagement rings.  One of my former player's father owned a pretty big jewelry store and I took her there.  At each place, Sharon was studying each and every pattern and diamond shape.  She tried different ones on.  I finally got her to tell me what she really liked.  Although I didn't need her to, when she slipped one of them on, you could tell by her smile.  It was even more radiant and beautiful than it normally was.  What she liked was elegant and yet very understated and tasteful.  It was beautiful.  She didn't know that I had already been there and worked out a signal with the sales person.  The signal was for the sales person to record what she wanted.
Later that week, I went back to the jewelry store, picked out the design and the diamond.  They already had her size.  It would be ready within a week.  I had made up my mind that I would ask her on New Year's eve.  I made reservations at Yamashiro restaurant in Hollywood.  It was a Japanese restaurant with a stunning view of the city and a garden inside.
A few days before Christmas Eve, I went and picked up her ring.  I was pretty excited and found a place to hide it that she would never look.  I remember the anticipation and the wait seemed like forever.
On Christmas Eve, she went out with some friends during the day.  When she got home, we got ready and went to Yamashiro's.  Our reservation was for 9 pm.  We had a table with a view of the city on the outside and a view of the garden inside.  We finished ordering and I was gazing at her sitting across from me.  I pointed at something so that it would force her to turn to see what I was talking about.  When she turned around, there was an open box with the ring inside it.  Her smile was even brighter than the diamond when she saw the ring.  I held her hand and told her that I was in love with her and I had never felt anything close to that ever.  I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted to spend each day making her happy.  "I know that it seems like everything is moving so fast, but it seems so right.  When you find the person you are meant to be with, why wait?  Will you marry me?" I asked her.  "Yes, I want to marry you and be your wife.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she answered.  I placed the ring on her finger and we kissed.  I guess the people around us knew what was happening and applauded.  That was one of the most pivotal and important night of my life.  Sharon and I were now engaged.

Moving In

Sharon and I were inseparable.  She was either over at my apartment or I was with her at the Reseda house.  I guess we just couldn't bear to be apart from each other.  Our relationship was out in the open to our family and friends.  We never said anything at work but they knew.  I guess it was obvious in the way we looked at each other or how we interacted.   We saw each other at work every day as we drove together, usually had lunch together, and we went home together.  Even though our relationship was fairly new, there wasn't much we didn't know about each other.  We spent hours really talking and really getting to know each other.  There was no topic that was off limits so we could always talk about anything with each other.  In that short time, we were really each other's best friend.  We were very much in love with each other, but we genuinely liked each other.  We had already discussed wanting to spend the rest of our lives together.  We spoke of marriage.  Sharon told me that she had never felt so at ease or comfortable with anyone as she was with me.  She said that she could really be herself around me.  All of our habits were out in the open, both good and bad.  She wasn't shy or afraid to eat around me.  Sharon really loved food and we both had similar tastes in food.  I grew up in Guam and we had similar foods to what she grew up on.  In the short time we were together, we managed to have our own "favorite" places to go.  My brother and I shared a one-bedroom place but with Sharon always around it was about to get crowded.  Between Christmas and New Year's we were ok as my brother Gene was back home in Guam.  I had said something to the apartment manager early in December as my brother and I wanted to move to a bigger place.  One afternoon, the apartment manager knocked on my door and told me that he had a bigger unit that would be available by the weekend.  Sharon and I went to see it.  It was a two-bedroom place, where each bedroom was self-contained with its own bathroom and the living area  was in the middle.  It was perfect.  When we got back, we were talking about the apartment and how it would be perfect.  In my mind I was contemplating asking her to move in with me. I fell deeply in love with her and I wanted to be with her all the time.   It probably wasn't the conventional thing to do.  I wasn't sure how she would take it or what her response would be.  I took a deep breath and decided to ask. "How do you feel about moving in with me? I know that it's a big step but we know that we are going to get married", I said. "Really.  You want me to live with you?" she replied.  "Only if you want to.  I love you.  I want us to be together and I don't like being away from you.  We are practically living together already", I told her.  "I love you, too.  I don't like being away from you either.  Do you really want to live together?" she replied.  "I really do.  I want to be with you all the time",  I told her.  She flashed her beautiful smile and moved to hug and kiss me.  I guess that was her way of saying yes.  We informed the apartment manager and we quickly finished all of the details.  We had the keys and cleaned up the new place.  We were both fanatical when it came to being clean.  She told her brother Dan and her sister-in-law, Susan.  They seemed pretty excited about the news.  So excited that they offered to help us move right away.  The day she moved, we loaded her furniture on their pickup and they helped  us move it into our new place.  Since we were in West LA, we went for Hawaiian food nearby.   Sharon and I were about to start on our new life together.

Christmas and the Big "M"

Sharon and I were spending more time together during December heading to our first Christmas together.  It was pretty clear that things were getting serious between us.  We were inseparable and we never wanted to be apart.  We really got to know each other in such a short amount of time.  Whenever we weren't together, which wasn't very often, we spent countless hours on the phone talking  It wasn't just small talk, there wasn't much we didn't tell each other.  She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her.  Sharon was the first woman that I ever really let completely inside my heart.  We had already confessed that we were in love with each other.  We spoke of having a future together and the "M" word was mentioned.   Neither one of us flinched at the topic.  It was as though it was our destiny to be married.  I remember we were together and I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that I could see her being my wife.  Sharon told me that she felt the same way and that she had never been more certain as she was with me.  I remember that she told me that some of her closest friends were skeptical.  "Why does he want to marry you after such a short time?  Does he have an immigration problem?  What about the age difference?" they would ask.  Biologically, there was an almost 10-year age difference between us.  I used to tell her that she was more mature for her age and I didn't act my age, so we were really close emotionally.  We went to pick out a Christmas tree together for my apartment.  I got her to agree on a Douglas Fir tree as that was what I had growing up.  We had fun decorating it together and wrapping gifts for our family and friends.   We spent Christmas Eve at her brother Jeff's house as that was their family tradition.  I met most of her family that lived close by.  Her aunt and uncle, her cousins, nieces and nephews.  I remember we had to bring a white elephant gift and I had something some picture that ended up with her oldest nephew, Nathan.  He really liked it.  After the party we went back to my apartment and I took her to midnight mass at St. Monica's Church.  The next morning we exchanged presents and cards.  I was so touched by the words on her card:

To my fiancee Cesar,
I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you.  You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.  I just want you to know how much you mean to me.  You are the most important person in my life and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.  There isn't a minute, hour, or day that goes by where I'm not thinking of you, us.  I have never loved, wanted, or needed anyone as much as I loved, wanted, or needed you.  My feelings grow stronger for you each day an I cherish what we have.  What we have is so special and I promise to never let anything happen to it, us.  You mean the world to me and I love you and will always love you with all my heart.  Merry Christmas Honey.


Love Always,
Sharon


P.S. I will always cherish our first Christmas together.  It means so much to me that you stayed home to spend Christmas with me.  Thank You.  I Love You,


I was struck that she referred to me as her fiancee.  I think she knew that we were meant for each other.  That morning we went to their house in Reseda, where her friend Jamie and her husband, John lived as well.  We also spent the day at her Aunt's house in Chatsworth, where her family met to celebrate Christmas Day.  I remember being amazed at how close her family was and how they welcomed me in.